How well do you know your kids?

Time for another blog post.
I know I promised to post more often but to be honest I haven’t had anything to say, well that was until this week.

This week I had a child booked in for NLP counselling.

The issue was anger at school.

Now I’m not going to talk about the sessions, as they are confidential, what I do want to talk about is the background and the self image of the child.

Background..

Here is a child who, previously had no discipline issues, who started to become angry and aggressive at school.

When asked by school, the child told the teachers that they were being bullied.

The school virtual called the child a liar, as the alleged bully couldn’t possibly be acting that way.

The bully is popular with the kids, helpful, polite and liked by all the teachers in the school.

The school also implied that the child’s outbursts and change in temperament must be due to the stress of the up coming change of school in August.

When they spoke to the parents, they made no mention of the alleged bullying and only spoke about the stress of moving to the High School.

This left the child feeling even more alone and isolated, sparking further outbursts.

That’s when the parents made an appointment to try counselling.

They knew it was out of character and couldn’t understand why the child had changed so much in such a short time.

As I said earlier, I’m not going to talk about the sessions as they were private.

But several issues came to light.

Firstly, the school were either so blinded by their personal views that they couldn’t see what was actually happening or they were not willing to deal with the allegations as they wouldn’t be their problem after August.

Secondly, this child was at serious risk, there has been a monumental breach of care by the school.

The child’s self image was damaged to the point the child had no self worth. Depression was already evident and thoughts of self harm were being voiced and no one pick up on it.

There are supposed to be safeguarding policies in place to deal with this and I have highlighted the short comings to both the local authority and social work departments.

I would suggest they review their staff training to.

Thirdly, there is another child being routinely bullied. This child isn’t even on the schools radar, as they are becoming insular rather than aggressive.

So back to the question I raised in the title, how well do you know your children?

Do you know how your child feels, do you know what they see in the mirror?

Could you spot the signs and notice the changes before things escalate from outbursts to violence?

Self harming, drug use and suicide are all outcomes of depression, you need to take action early.

These parents did and took appropriate action. The second child’s parents might not even know there is an issue.

Let that sink in, what if the second child was yours?

Please talk to your kids, let them know you care.

Look for advice, read up or take a course in safeguarding.

It could save a child’s life.

As usual for free advice on this or to discuss anything on my blog, email Gregory.gavin@gsgtraining.co.uk

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