Life is hard..

Life is hard.

It is full of challenges.

We have to compete in every level and aspect of our lives.

Everyday some new problem presents itself to hinder our progression towards our goals of happiness and success.

To often people just give up when things get tough, they get overwhelmed by the pressure to succeed.

This has happened many times in history. Inventors often give up on their theories, while others take it further and succeed.

So what has changed, why do we now quit so easily?

I’m not sure but maybe it’s the way we have changed our societies mindset.

Food is instant.

We no longer fear the weather.

We now believe the marketing hype that life is easy.

Everyone is a winner.

Everyone believes they are supposed to be successful. Hell, it’s our birthright to be rich, successful and happy.

Modern education systems compound this feeling of entitlement by giving everyone a medal for participating.

There is no need to train or study, you will get the same for doing nothing.

The consequences being, we are creating adults ill prepared for reality.

When they finally reach the real world and fail, they have no back up plan or ability to problem solve and just quit.

This happens often in martial arts, people believe they should be progressing quicker than they are. This leads to frustration and anger then ultimately to failure.

Often we’ll get a natural athlete come to class. They pick up the techniques quickly and sail through the grades.
But when they hit a stumbling block or training plateau, they aren’t used to working through it and just quit.

Sometimes, it can be issues with parents.

Pushy parents believe their childen should be progressing faster and achieving more.

They blame the teacher, the school or other students but not their child. They forget that lessons need to be practiced away from class to become a skill.

Martial arts are skill based activities. It takes time to learn skill.
Lessons are often difficult and the learning curve varies greatly from student to student.

Remember, we are all individuals and living things grow at their own pace.

Not everyone will make it to 10th Dan, just as not every job will make you a millionaire.

Life is hard but we can still enjoy the journey. If we work hard, we will rise to our full potential.

That is true success.

Find happiness at whatever level you finally master and be proud of what you have achieved.

In NLP, we have a saying.

There is no such thing as failure only feed back and progression.

See you at class..

Stuart

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Events in London, a penny for my thoughts..

Several of my online friends have asked for my opinion on the recent events in London and Manchester.

So here goes..

Everyone and their dog has voiced an opinion on the events, most of which were negative.

People are blaming it on everything from reduction in policing to “Red Flag” Operations by govt departments.

There has been the usual call for deportation of muslims and restrictions on immigration.

I have even seen a discussion about making firearms laws stricter, strange when the attackers were armed with knives.

At the other end of the scale, arming security guards and door supervisors has also been discussed.

Well I’m not going to comment on on any of that..

We learn a lot when things go wrong and this lesson was a hard one. But there were a lot of plus points to be taken from the attacks.

From Manchester we can see that the first responders and medical professionals worked well under pressure.

Even with reduced staffing levels, staff volunteered to work around the clock to deal with the victims.

This shows a level of dedication that should be recognised.

From London, we see that increased police presence can reduce response times. 8 minutes from the first 999 call to resolved incident is amazing.

In both cases the responders showed their professionalism and training are top notch.

So how can we improve for the next time?

And yes I do believe there will be a next time.

The govt needs to increase the numbers of police on the beat, looking at the risks and also improving training.

More funding and staff for NHS, not more chiefs but hands on ward and ambulance staff.

Could we possibly implement a locally based multi-discipline response team, made up of firearms trained police, paramedics and firefighters?

Who knows?

People way above my pay grade will discuss this for years..

But what can we as individuals do?

I have seen people advertising on FB that they are running “Knife Defence” training.

Save your money folks, the best defence against a knife is to run away.

Second best, is to hide.

Only fight if there is no other option.

Oh I believe there is a need for individual training but spend your money on stuff that helps.

First Aid is a must and please don’t think taking a basic CPR course is enough.

Take the best course you can afford.

Make sure you cover major injuries and bleeding.
If you have kids make sure it covers their age group. There are specific courses for under 5’s.

Carry a basic first aid kit on your person, include a rescusitation mask and gloves as a minimum.
You can buy key chain or belt kits on eBay and Amazon.

Buy a full British Standard first aid kit for your car, rather than a travel kit.

Have a larger kit at home, better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

Make sure to keep your kits stocked and up to date.

Take a self-protection and awareness course.

Please remember not all Self-Defence courses were created equal, many won’t cover situation awareness.

Just because an instructor is a martial artist, doesn’t mean they are qualified or experienced in Self-Defence.

Make sure whatever you choose to learn is fit for purpose, covering the law and situation awareness, rather than just techniques.

Most people don’t understand the inherent risks in modern society and put themselves in bad situations daily.

Situation awareness training will teach you to see the real world you live in, the dangers signs are there to be seen if you know what to look for.

The key is to trust your instincts.

If things feel wrong they probably are and you should leave.

Please feel free to contact me for free advice on any of the above and stay safe..

Speak to you soon..

 

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How well do you know your kids?

Time for another blog post.
I know I promised to post more often but to be honest I haven’t had anything to say, well that was until this week.

This week I had a child booked in for NLP counselling.

The issue was anger at school.

Now I’m not going to talk about the sessions, as they are confidential, what I do want to talk about is the background and the self image of the child.

Background..

Here is a child who, previously had no discipline issues, who started to become angry and aggressive at school.

When asked by school, the child told the teachers that they were being bullied.

The school virtual called the child a liar, as the alleged bully couldn’t possibly be acting that way.

The bully is popular with the kids, helpful, polite and liked by all the teachers in the school.

The school also implied that the child’s outbursts and change in temperament must be due to the stress of the up coming change of school in August.

When they spoke to the parents, they made no mention of the alleged bullying and only spoke about the stress of moving to the High School.

This left the child feeling even more alone and isolated, sparking further outbursts.

That’s when the parents made an appointment to try counselling.

They knew it was out of character and couldn’t understand why the child had changed so much in such a short time.

As I said earlier, I’m not going to talk about the sessions as they were private.

But several issues came to light.

Firstly, the school were either so blinded by their personal views that they couldn’t see what was actually happening or they were not willing to deal with the allegations as they wouldn’t be their problem after August.

Secondly, this child was at serious risk, there has been a monumental breach of care by the school.

The child’s self image was damaged to the point the child had no self worth. Depression was already evident and thoughts of self harm were being voiced and no one pick up on it.

There are supposed to be safeguarding policies in place to deal with this and I have highlighted the short comings to both the local authority and social work departments.

I would suggest they review their staff training to.

Thirdly, there is another child being routinely bullied. This child isn’t even on the schools radar, as they are becoming insular rather than aggressive.

So back to the question I raised in the title, how well do you know your children?

Do you know how your child feels, do you know what they see in the mirror?

Could you spot the signs and notice the changes before things escalate from outbursts to violence?

Self harming, drug use and suicide are all outcomes of depression, you need to take action early.

These parents did and took appropriate action. The second child’s parents might not even know there is an issue.

Let that sink in, what if the second child was yours?

Please talk to your kids, let them know you care.

Look for advice, read up or take a course in safeguarding.

It could save a child’s life.

As usual for free advice on this or to discuss anything on my blog, email Gregory.gavin@gsgtraining.co.uk

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